Many married people envy singles for their romantic freedom, but do the singles envy married people for their stability?
Although romantic freedom involves engaging in casual relationships, singles perceive it as insufficient. The abundance of romantic options makes the search for a partner quite superficial. Having a serious romantic relationship which can then on develop into something more implies giving up time and therefore much of your romantic freedom for the sake of your significant profound relationship. Nevertheless, it has been discovered that having insignificant romantic relationships, is not enough to fulfil someone. People are looking for something more than just casual. The process of casual romantic relationships is not the same as a serious one. For example, when commencing a serious relationship couples normally go on first dates, which from then on can go further, moving slowly toward physical intimacy.
There are however a few cases in which singles can find their match and it is widely known as friends with benefits. This is one of the cases in which the romantic casual relationship can transform into something serious and studies show that people who have engaged in this type of relationship value the friendship more than the benefits when starting a serious relationship. Therefore, many cases of friends with benefits end up in a happy, committed relationship.
“I find that when you open the door toward openness and transparency, a lot of people will follow you through.” Kirsten Gillibrand
The greater openness about romantic flexibility rises from the greater acceptance in society of such flexibility, as well as from the fact that such flexibility is expressed in many different and various types of experiences that can no longer be hidden.
This type of openness is associated with polyamory. It seems that polyamorous people arrive at a different understanding of what commitment and intimacy ought to involve replacing fidelity with complex notions of emotional openness and honesty as a romantic norm, and the ongoing manifestations of tenderness.
So, what do singles really want? They really want to combine the profound with the openness of sexual diversity. They want to have it both ways – a serious, meaningful relationship, as well as a diversity in sexual encounters. Is it possible though to find a relationship that has it both ways? In our current society it doesn’t seem like the easiest thing to achieve. At the same time there are people that think the two are incompatible and shouldn’t be sought at the same time. They feel you should try out one than seek and stay with the other. This is the current dilemma in today’s society, that most people wish to be married, but not be dead and keep both flames alive.
At the end of the day most singles find ways to either follow up their old dream of having a serious, profound relationship that will last a long time and develop tactics to accomplish the rest. Although most singles wish to have both more often than not, they can find an imbalance between the profound and casual needs of a relationship, which is why when seeking and wanting to develop a relationship to the point it is exactly what singles want, they need to adopt a certain sense of moderation, which will probably help them in both matters.